i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
