Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
