what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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