You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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