Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
