Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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