i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
