Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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