He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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