Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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