ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
