normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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