1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
