U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
it's like heaven, but drunker
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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