i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
this just has baby written all over it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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