P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I would fuck him just for his dog
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
