where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize