I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
