I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Your cock deserves a montage
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
