in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
