I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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