Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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