I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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