escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
