the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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