i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize