More tranny stories later!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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