At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
As shirtless as possible
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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