There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
