talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
