Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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