I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
