so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize