I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
