he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize