you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
