She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
