I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
