Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
