Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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