You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
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