Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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