I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
3pm strippers are depressing
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
