Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
