your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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