This girl is more easily done than said...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
