I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
