actually, I'm a sock model
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
