I hate all girls vehemently.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
