hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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