On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
