Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize