Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
