Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
