I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
