I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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