If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
