Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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