My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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