Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
