This girl is more easily done than said...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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