Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
