I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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